Qualities for Success

Last, but certainly not least, we’re going to talk about the qualities you need for success as an international student in Europe.

Slide 1: On Your Mark

Lesson 3: Qualities for Success

Last, but certainly not least, we're going to talk about the qualities you need for success as an international student in Europe.

Slide 2: Main Qualities

Independence
Self confidence
Willingness to ask for help
Proactive and resourceful
Time Management
Organization

So these are the main qualities. Certainly, these are great qualities to have in life anyway. But they're also ones that you will especially need in Europe. Now don't be concerned if some of these, you're like, “I just don't have that yet at all.” A lot of these are executive functioning skills that don't fully develop until you're into your 20s. But let's talk about some of these and why they're important.

Certainly, independence and self confidence are sort of tied hand in hand. You're going to be in unfamiliar situations and unfamiliar circumstances, and you need to know within yourself that you can find the resources, or that you can find the solutions to navigate those unfamiliar situations. You're going to need to really be able to ask for help in a variety of different settings. Some people are fine asking for help academically, but then when it comes to social or sort of living situations, they feel less comfortable about it. You definitely need to get over that and develop a willingness and comfort level in asking for help.

The proactive and resourceful, and time management and organization, those all sort of go together too because here's the thing, as opposed to a lot of first year experiences at American universities, you are not going to have things spoon fed to you. There are absolutely resources throughout the universities and throughout the programs, whether it's for learning needs or help with your student residence permit, or whatever it may be, there are the resources there, but you have to seek them out, and you have to ask for them.

Same with time management and organization. Like I have been amazed at how much busy work there is still in college, especially those first couple of years. Like worksheet, homework, assignments and stuff, like high school. And some of that seems like for the accountability piece of it. You're not going to have that. You'll need to stay on top of your reading because it's not like when I was in college where you could kind of either go to the lecture or do the reading because the lecture was so tied into the reading. It's different. And you will be tested on it or need it for projects or whatever else. So you have to stay on top of all that independent learning stuff and be organized about this.

So I'll give you an example of how this has helped Sam. There are some of these he is still really weak on. I'm a little bit nervous about his time management and his organization. But others, we've really been working on. So when he got to school — I didn't take him on the flight. He can fly by himself. He's flown internationally before. And I felt like he'll be more interested in seeing me after he's been in school for a couple of months than that first week. Which you saw, I showed you the orientation schedule, and it was a lot of partying and socialization. And you know, who wants your mom around for that?

So he went on his own. And once he got there, one of his bags was lost. And he was able to handle it without stress because he's handled this before. You know, when he got back from another trip, I had him — you know, one of the bags was lost — I had him go through that whole process. I had him arrange to get the bag delivered and all that. So he'd done that before. So when he was faced with it this time, he was totally fine about it.

So then the welcome committee, they have this orientation welcome committee that goes to the airport. And they showed him how to get on the train and got him a train ticket. Willingness to ask for help is what that was because you have to sign up for the welcome service. So they helped him get a train ticket. He was able to get to The Hague. The people who were supposed to meet him at the train station in The Hague did not. They were at the housing office, there was some communication snafu or whatever. So he had the resourcefulness to figure out how to get to the housing office with his luggage that wasn't lost from The Hague station.

And some of this was because when we traveled before, I generally do — even when he was in high school, I'd have him meet me someplace. If I was in a meeting, I'd have him meet me there and use Google Maps or whatever to get there and figure it out. Because I was there for him to kind of, you know, be safe with it. It's sort of like guided independence.

So the first thing we want to do is really to assess which of these skills you have, and you're just really on top of and really strong, and which maybe need — you know, you're starting to develop them, but maybe need a little bit of acceleration. So the first thing you want to do is a self assessment, and just rank yourself on a scale of, whatever, 1 to 3 like we did before on each of these qualities. Now, the thing is, sometimes we're not completely honest with ourselves or we're not completely self aware. I know I have this problem myself. I know Sam certainly has this problem. He would probably tell you that his time management is just fine. So I'd love for you to have a parent and a close friend also provide you with rankings in these areas, because they might see strengths that you didn't realize that you had, or they might see some areas that have room for growth.

So once you have determined the areas that need to be strengthened before you go to Europe, how can you do that?

Slide 2: Skills Development

After school job
Make a list of resources you can use if you need help for each of your classes
Cooking dinner
Public transportation
Air travel arrangements
Solo international experience
Practicing 1x weekly
After school job

Well, there are a lot of ways, and let's talk about some of them. An after school job is going to help with a ton of those. You're going to be in unfamiliar situations, you're going to have to be independent, you're going to have to ask for help. You know, you're going to have to ask about things like your schedule, or taking time off, or how to do certain things, because you haven't done it. You're going to have to manage your time if you have an after school job between homework and the job. So if there's a way that you can incorporate an after school job in your life, I think it could be a huge help in developing many of those skills.

Make a list of resources you can use if you need help for each of your classes

So if you're somebody that has trouble asking for help, or being resourceful or proactive, one thing you can do is make a list, of course, of all the classes you're currently taking, and find out what resources you could use, if you need help down the road in each of your classes. Now, of course, you can ask your teacher, but try to come up with outside of the box options as well. And this is to kind of develop the resourcefulness. It's also about being proactive, so that you have that list of resources, when you need it, if you need it. You're not waiting until you're sort of flailing to kind of gather those resources.

Cooking dinner

Cooking dinner is a good one because if you do this right, it can prepare you in a number of ways. Now remember, in Europe there’s generally not meal plans. So you're going to have to be cooking on your own too. So if nothing else, it’s going to give you those skills that will help you once you're in school with actually cooking. But the other thing this can do is it can help with time management and organization and resourcefulness. If you have to, you know, figure out what you're going to cook, if you have to go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients, and you have a certain budget to do so, these are skills that will really help you.

Public transportation

Public transportation is something that's not available to all of us. You know, I grew up in the city and I was taking public transportation once I was in like fourth grade. Here in Chapel Hill, it's not so much a thing, it's not very convenient. So if there's a way that you can utilize public transportation, either in your home city, or when you travel with your family, or if you live in the suburbs, can you go into the city and navigate your way around, start to do that. You're going to need to have comfort with that once you move.

Air travel arrangements

Air travel arrangements are something that you'll also do once you're in Europe, even if it's just traveling, you know, with friends or whatever. And so, starting to get practice with that, even if it's sitting down with your parents when they're making air travel arrangements, to figure out the best ways to do so is a really good idea. Sam was using Airbnb for the first time over the summer, and finally accepted feedback from me on kind of the criteria and the process I go through when I choose an Airbnb to stay in.

Solo international experience

So the other thing is if there's any way for you to do a program through like CIEE or, you know, Volunteers Abroad or — no, actually it's called Projects Abroad, I think. Or even some European universities have summer programs. So this is more for the juniors I'm talking to here. Some universities in Europe have these summer programs. That's going to give you the experience of living without your parents in this different culture. It’s going to give you that international experience. You're going to learn how to get around the town, and all of that. That's going to give you a tremendous amount of self confidence and independence, as well as many of those other schools also.

Practicing 1x weekly

But really, for any of these, any of those qualities that you're hoping to develop, just find one thing each week you can do to help cultivate it, and make that a habit. You know, put it on your to do list. Yeah. Because we all have to do lists, right? Make it a priority somehow. Set a reminder on your phone. If asking for help is hard, put a reminder on your phone to do so once a week and give yourself specific ways you can do that. There are books for teenagers and college bound students about organization and time management. If you want recommendations, shoot me an email. I used to teach an executive functioning class to college students so I have some resources I could share with you there too.

But really, like I said, it's about accelerating these executive functioning skills that aren't supposed to really develop till later in life, and creating habits for these skills or to develop these skills.

So I think that's it for this lesson. I will see you in the exit video.